Thursday, January 29, 2015

Do you DSFY?


Not always does “Do Something for Yourself” equate to you spending tons of money exploring your surroundings, or even leaving your house for that matter. Sometimes, remembering to do something for yourself can be as simple as taking time out for a long hot bath, spending an hour watching a TV show that you love, preparing a yummy meal of all your foods, or even taking a long walk to clear your head. For me, reading is a simple, inexpensive way for me to connect with what brings me joy.

This year, a good friend of mine challenged me to read one book a week leading up to my birthday in July. I hesitantly accepted this challenge- as my life usually leaves little time to sit down and enjoy a book the way I used to-, and decided to start this endeavor by reading a book that has been sitting on my shelves for over a year. This particular book is Wild, by Cheryl Strayed.



As a little back history; my father passed away suddenly on April 29th, 2013. I was crushed, broken to pieces, and spiraling into a manic/depressive frenzy months after his passing due to grief and misplaced anger stemming from that loss. For months after his passing and memorial service, we received an assortment of cards, flowers, money, prepared meals, and much more from people who knew him (both at work and personal life) and wanted to honor his memory and pay their respects. One day I found in the mail a hard cover copy of Wild, along a card that read:

“Dear Mrs. Young,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing that can be said right now that would heal your heart, but I do believe that sharing others experiences with loss helps to ease the pain, and allows you to move forward without carrying that pain with you. I am passing this book onto you in hope that you will connect with someone who has been in your shoes, and allows you to grow from the pain.”

I was touched and grateful that someone- a complete stranger to me- thought enough of my Dad, and me, to send us something that she felt would truly help me get past what was at that time, the greatest pain I’d ever felt. Even though I was melting on the inside at the thought of this strangers kindness, after reading the book jacket, and learning that the book was about a woman who lost her mother, the idea of reading such a heavy memoir was a little too much to take in just then. Now that I'm past the majority of my grief (although I still miss my Dad deeply), and a little less raw in the feeling department, I felt this would be the perfect time to jump in with both feet and use this book as my kick-starter to my friends 2015 book challenge. And you know what- I'm so happy that I did!

I won't spoil it for any of you interested in reading this book, but I will say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love her perspective of healing after loss, and inadvertently the process of dealing with the unexpected emotions that arise after a loss. I know that several of you who follow this blog have had lots of experience with loss due to the war and/or aftermath of war; it's my hope that if you have experienced a loss that you are finding a way to cope while healing and surviving through grief. Loss is never easy, and almost always cuts as deep as emotional scars can cut, however, finding ways to cope will provide you with the strength and courage that you will most definitely need to move forward.

I hope you are all enjoying your New Year thus far, and finding ways (each day- either simple or extravagant) to Do Something For Yourself, connecting with what brings you joy, and allowing yourself to not just understand the importance of, but actively practicing putting yourself first, and loving yourself enough to take time out for you.

Health and Happiness to all
Ayana-

 

1 comment:

  1. Debra Bush Robinson @yahoo.comMarch 23, 2017 at 9:25 PM

    love ur writing

    ReplyDelete