Henehene Kou 'Aka
It was January 2009. My friend T invited me to come to a "getting out of the Army" party with her. A girl she knew had just finished her med board process and was celebrating getting out of the Army and going home. My friend worked out at the WTB (Warrior Transition Battalion) as a civilian driver. I hadn't been out in a while, so I thought it might be good for me to get out of the house and just have an adult night. No pressure and NO guys for me!! I had decided some time before this that I wouldn't date another military guy… EVER AGAIN… They were too much drama… About 2 months prior to this party I had had a conversation with God about being single. At this time I had been a single mom for almost 4 years. I had dated a few guys, but nothing got serious. I had it up to
We get out to the house and we're cooking on the BBQ, drinking and listening to music. More people show up. We're all just hanging out and having a good time. Some time later a few more people show up… and he walks in. Our eyes met as soon as he walked in the door. And I'm really not trying to be all sappy, but it literally felt like I knew him when I saw him. I turned to the friend that I had come with and asked her if I knew him, if he had ever come and hung out with us before, anything… she said "no". I asked what was wrong with him. He walked with a cane, but having been around a lot of the guys (and girls) out at the WTB, I knew that some of them were a little worse off than others. She said that he was injured, but that's all she really knew about him. Every so often we would catch each other looking, but it wasn't until he had been there for more than an hour that we finally talked to each other. The guys were being very typical Army guys, and giving each other crap. I was walking through the room and all of a sudden I'm grabbed and put in front of someone as a human shield. The guys had been acting "gay" with each other and he didn't like it, so he grabbed me, threw me in front of himself and yelled "tell them I'm straight… TELL THEM I'M STRAIGHT!!" I could not stop laughing. We ended up going off together to talk. We talked… and talked.. for about an hour. We talked about what had happened to him, where he had been and the fact that he was getting a divorce. We rejoined the rest of the party and at some point he had been cornered in the kitchen by another girl. I wanted to give him my number before I left, but when I saw him with the other girl, I figured that he wasn't interested, so I just left. No bye, no number.
About a week later, we met again, this time at the WTB. Z was with me that day. He came over and asked if he could buy her something from the vending machine and I said, "sure, if she'll talk to you". Please let me be clear~It was NOT ever my intention for S to meet Z that soon. Prior to meeting S, Z had only met 1 of the guys I had dated, and that was after 2 months of seeing each other. Well, Z let him give her the coins to put in the machine, and he helped her open the bag of goodies that she picked.
On Valentine's Day he gave me a ring, it was a promise ring. He knew, I knew, right away that we were falling fast. He told me that when the time was right (ie his divorce was over) that He would propose for real… that day finally came… over a year later. Lots of things happened between Feb 09 and April 2010. We moved in together, and moved again. Met some friends and lost some friends. Z had turned 5 by then. In April, we got a phone call from our lawyer, he had some papers on his desk that we had been waiting for… his ex finally signed the divorce papers!! This was it! We were finally going to be able to move on. And that was the day that life got moving very quickly. The papers were filed with the county on Thursday, we applied for our marriage license on Friday and that Monday, we were married. Him in his duty uniform and me in a gorgeous dress. In the office of the chaplain of the WTB. It was a very small quaint ceremony. The chaplain, us, Z, my parents, our best man and maid of honor and my nephew. That was one of the best days of our lives. He wanted to make sure that we (Z and I) were going to be taken care of.
This has been quite the journey. We've had ups and downs. We've been down some tough roads and on some amazing adventures!! This man God created for me is an astounding man. He has fought a life long battle against him. From family issues as a kid, joining the Army at an early age (17) to being in and out of the military (he had 16 years in, over a 25 year time frame), being married to someone who was abusive and then being injured in Afghanistan. I will get more into him on another post.
God has blessed me abundantly. And while not many could live the life I do, I wouldn't change it for anything!
"The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen" ~ Ralph Marston
Artist: Katy Perry
Song: Dark Horse