The DSFY Project

Before I get started, I wanted to let all of you know that I will now be sharing this site with a very dear friend of mine. Her mane is Emily, and she is amazing! I love her to death, and I can’t imagine my life without her. We will be co-bloggers, and sharing and posting individually, and I am sure all of you out there will love her just as much as I do. Join me in welcoming her to this blog! If you want to get to know a little more about her, just click here.

Now, lets get to it shall we!

I have a question... how often- in our frequently hectic and non-stop lives- can you say you actually have taken time out for yourself? And I’m not talking about taking 15 minutes to sit in-between cooking dinner. When I refer to taking time for yourself, I mean it in the sense of truly stepping away from it all for a few hours, shutting off your phone, and truly breathing in life. Tell me...really, how often can you say you do this?

Think hard- I’ll wait...

Yeah, that’s what I thought! The answer to that question in so many cases is, has been, and will always be: I don’t remember or the ever so famous I’ll rest when I’m dead.

Always...unless you do something to change that is.

Here’s the fact:  if the aforementioned was your answer ladies and gents, trust and believe when I say dead, will come around much faster than you EVER anticipated. In an older blog post I talked about the physical and mental reparations of stress; How stress can manifest itself into serious disorders, physical limitations, and in some cases complex diseases like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, infertility, and even death. With more and more of our troops coming home as this war nears it’s close, and more spouses assuming the role of a caregivers to help them with their post-war injuries, the number of reported cases of depression in the caregiver, have grown to almost staggering numbers. Of all the significant elements of caregiving, the most important and most impactful element is the caregiver’s ability to recognize that taking time to take care for you is absolutely imperative to the overall success of the combat veterans health and wellness.

Think about it: if you do not feel well emotionally, what care could you possibly provide to anyone? I don’t know about you, but when I’m deep in the throes of my Eeyore feels, caring for someone is the LAST thing I’m capable of. In fact, I can honestly say that on those days my brain quickly shuts down from Super Mom/Wife/Caregiver to everyman (woman) for himself (herself).  True story.

Which brings me back to my point...if you are not taking time to care for yourself, how can you honestly care for- to the degree in which your war fighter/combat veteran requires care? The answer to that is simple. You can’t. So what do you do about this now? Well, that’s simple too; you just take the time to do YOU!

It's time to DSFY- DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF

Ok, I’ve said a lot in this post thus far, and I know for me whenever someone would mention taking time out for myself, my immediate response would be: Well how the hell do you exactly expect me to take time for myself with all that I have going on? Here is the reality behind that response. It’s bullshit! I’m sorry, but it is. And here is what I had to finally break down and realize about the heaping BS of that statement; there are 24 hours in each day, 189 hours in each week, and 52 weeks in each year. You can find the time to do something for yourself within that time trust me. I’m not talking about taking a three week long vacation to Brazil of Fiji (however wouldn’t that be something right!), but when I actually decided to add up all the hours I spent on the phone venting to a friend about how bad life sucked, and added in the hours I spent sulking in a stew of my own misery about things that I absolutely could not change, I ended up with nearly 3 months of time I could have allotted to finding fun events to attend, of vacations I could have taken. Like I said, it doesn’t have to be extravagant,  I’m simply suggesting taking a few hours out of a day each week to do something that excites you, enriches you, energizes you, or helps to remind you that there is still a YOU there underneath the laundry list of “need to do’s” that we all seem to accumulate. Think back long and hard people to the “you” that existed pre-caregiving. What did you like to do? What are a few things you always told yourself you wanted to do if you ever had the chance? Write them down, create a list, and slowly start checking those things off. Go live your life while you have one to live. Believe me, I’m a mom, and I understand the demands of life as a mom and caregiver, but I also understand that this is the only shot at life I’m EVER going to be afforded. Once I’m gone, I don’t get to come back for a do-over. So right now while you have air in your lungs, make your health and wellness a priority.

Because I recognize that when I embarked on my DSFY journey, I was clueless as to where to even start taking with taking time for myself, and how hard it was for me to come up with ideas as to what to do or what resources were available financially to help me, I’ve decided to start posting thing that I found helpful, and resources that are available out there to guide you in your journey. Em, and I will be posting our DSFY adventures on this blog regularly to keep you updated on all the things we do to DSFY, in hopes to give you all ideas, and inspiration to go out into the world and chase your own happiness.

We will be posting things that we have done to share our lives with you and share ideas of what you can do for yourself, as well as sharing resources offered by organizations that offer spouse and veteran retreats, events, family getaways, and more. Stay tuned for more folks, but most of all understand how important your overall wellness is succeeding in happiness in life. We are all strong, we are all capable, we go through trials that would take out most people, and we come out still standing, but sometimes standing isn’t enough to keep ready for the next battle. Do yourself a favor, listen to that little voice inside you that lets you know that you need a break- take that break, and continue thriving.

Health and wellness everyone,

Ayana