For most of us, stress is just another part of our
everyday make-up. We experience and encounter stress in many different forms
throughout our daily lives; stress from work, stress from parenting, stress
from financial burdens- stress for the most part is the only constant in many
of our lives. Although some stressors may not be harmful, continued or
prolonged stress without management can be extremely dangerous and detrimental
to your overall health. For a warrior wife, the day-to-day stressors of life
become overwhelming when added with the stress of coping and living with
someone with PTSD and/or TBI (among other wounds- both physical and mental-of
war). Stress, simply put, becomes insurmountable and because of that fact, life
becomes even more cumbersome and harder to balance than ever. Often the level
of stress that a warrior wife will or can experience on a daily basis, renders
that warrior wife susceptible to medical ailments like: anxiety, depression,
over-eating, exhaustion, mal-nutrition, chronic headaches, excessive weight
gain or loss, hormone imbalances sometimes leading to infertility,
heart-disease, mental illness, hypertension (high blood pressure), diabetes, gastrointestinal
issues, and skin conditions. This isn’t just my opinion, here is a passage from
an article I found on Web MD:
The human body is designed to experience
stress and react to it. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert and ready to
avoid danger. Stress becomes negative when a person faces continuous challenges
without relief or relaxation between challenges. As a result, the person
becomes overworked and stress-related tension builds.
Stress that continues without relief can lead
to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can lead
to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood
pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that stress also
can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases.
Stress also becomes harmful when people use
alcohol, tobacco, or drugs to try and relieve their stress. Unfortunately,
instead of relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state,
these substances tend to keep the body in a stressed state and cause more
problems. Consider the following:
·
Forty-three
percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress.
·
Seventy-five
percent to 90% of all doctor's office visits are for stress-related ailments
and complaints.
·
Stress
can play a part in problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart
problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and
anxiety.
·
The
Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) declared stress a hazard
of the workplace. Stress costs American industry more than $300 billion
annually.
·
The
lifetime prevalence of an emotional disorder is more than 50%, often due to
chronic, untreated stress reactions.
Passage found from:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/effects-of-stress-on-your-body
Experts have noted, that people with current
medical conditions that experience continued stress with no relief, can
actually worsen the medical conditions and cause more health related problems
going forward, and rising cases of worsening medical conditions due to stress
in women are fertility issues.
Stress
and Infertility
Basically, stress that is not managed and/or
relieved is often much more harmful than any of us ever realize. Stress plays a
huge role in many fertility cases such as Endometriosis, and Polycystic Ovarian
Syndrome (PCOS). Although studies have not conclusively discerned how either medical
conditions start, many believe prolonged exposure to severe and unmanaged
stress caused their initial symptoms and worsened them thereafter. Studies note
that high levels of prolonged stress do worsen the symptoms of both diseases,
leaving the sufferers of these diseases caught in a vicious cycle of continued
or worsening pain and discomfort. In many cases for both diseases, worsening
symptoms have led to diabetes, heart disease, infertility, and more.
So,
what is stress?
The definition of stress varies from person to
person, however, many define stress itself as a feeling; whenever life begins
to feel out of control or overwhelming, but for others, stress is much too
broad to just be classified or identified as an emotional manifestation of
things going wrong around us. I found this passage from an article written for
Medical News Today, that I absolutely thought fit my definition of stress:
Anything that poses a challenge or a threat
to our well-being is a stress. Some stresses get you going and they are good
for you - without any stress at all many say our lives would be boring and
would probably feel pointless. However, when the stresses undermine both our mental
and physical health they are bad.
What
works to reduce stress?
For me, relieving my daily stress revolves around
my ability to assert my creativity. I love to draw, paint, write, work on crafts
or do-it-yourself projects round my home, and spending time watching old
movies, or of course my indies! I’ve done all of these things my entire life to
relax me and because I truly enjoy them, and I have to say that for me, they
work every time to reduce my levels of stress. In case arts and crafts aren’t
your thing, here is what the Mayo Clinic suggests to relieve stress:
1. Get active
Virtually any form of exercise and physical activity can act as a stress
reliever. Even if you're not an athlete or you're out of shape, exercise is
still a good stress reliever. Physical activity pumps up your feel-good
endorphins and refocuses your mind on your body's movements, improving your
mood and helping the day's irritations fade away. Consider walking, jogging,
gardening, house cleaning, biking, swimming, weightlifting or anything else
that gets you active.
2. Meditate
During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of
jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. Meditation
instills a sense of calm, peace and balance that benefits both your emotional
well-being and your overall health. Guided meditation, guided imagery,
visualization and other forms of meditation can be practiced anywhere at any
time, whether you're out for a walk, riding the bus to work or waiting at the
doctor's office.
3. Laugh
A good sense of humor can't cure all ailments, but it can help you feel
better, even if you have to force a fake laugh through your grumpiness. When
you start to laugh, it lightens your mental load and actually causes positive
physical changes in your body. Laughter fires up and then cools down your
stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure, producing a
good, relaxed feeling. So read some jokes, tell some jokes, watch a comedy or
hang out with your funny friends.
4. Connect
When you're stressed and irritable, your instinct may be to wrap yourself
in a cocoon. Instead, reach out to family and friends and make social
connections. Social contact is a good stress reliever because it can distract
you, provide support, help you weather life's up and downs, and make you feel
good by doing good. So take a coffee break with a friend, email a relative,
volunteer for a charitable group, or visit your place of worship.
5. Assert yourself
You might want to do it all, but you probably can't, at least not without
paying a price. Learn to say no to some tasks or to delegate them. Saying yes
may seem like an easy way to keep the peace, prevent conflicts and get the job
done right. But it may actually cause you internal conflict because your needs
and those of your family come second, which can lead to stress, anger,
resentment and even the desire to exact revenge. And that's not very calm and
peaceful.
6. Do yoga
With its series of postures and controlled-breathing exercises, yoga is a
popular stress reliever. Yoga brings together physical and mental disciplines
to achieve peacefulness of body and mind, helping you relax and manage stress
and anxiety. Try yoga on your own or find a class — you can find classes in
most communities. Hatha yoga, in particular, is a good stress reliever because
of its slower pace and easier movements.
7. Sleep
Stress often gives sleep the heave-ho. You have too much to do — and too
much to think about — and your sleep suffers. But sleep is the time when your
brain and body recharge. And the quality and amount of sleep you get affects
your mood, energy level, concentration and overall functioning. If you have
sleep troubles, make sure that you have a quiet, relaxing bedtime routine,
listen to soothing music, put clocks away, and stick to a consistent schedule.
8. Journal
Writing out thoughts and feelings can be a good release for otherwise
pent-up emotions. Don't think about what to write — just let it happen. Write
whatever comes to mind. No one else needs to read it, so don't strive for
perfection in grammar or spelling. Just let your thoughts flow on paper — or
computer screen. Once you're done, you can toss out what you wrote or save it
to reflect on later.
9. Get musical
Listening to or playing music is a good stress reliever because it provides
a mental distraction, reduces muscle tension and decreases stress hormones.
Crank up the volume and let your mind be absorbed by the music. If music isn't
your thing, though, turn your attention to another hobby you enjoy, such as
gardening, sewing, sketching — anything that requires you to focus on what
you're doing rather than what you think you should be doing.
10. Seek counsel
If new stressors are challenging your ability to cope or if self-care
stress relievers just aren't relieving your stress, you may need to look for
reinforcements in the form of professional therapy or counseling. Therapy may
be a good idea if stress leaves you feeling overwhelmed or trapped, if you
worry excessively, or if you have trouble carrying out daily routines or meeting
responsibilities at work, home or school. Professional counselors or therapists
can help you identify sources of your stress and learn new coping tools.
Here
is what I know
The most important thing to remember as a warrior
wife is to do things for yourself, and take the time out that you need to
breathe, re-boot, and rejuvenate in order to deal with whatever is currently on
your plate.
When my hubby came back from Iraq in 2006 carrying
with him the wounds of war in the form of severe PTSD and TBI, I honestly felt
my entire world had shifted off its axis. It was the scariest, and most
stressful thing I think I have ever (and still continue to) experienced in my
life. Not only was there the stress from trying to just understand what was
going on with him and what had changed, there was also the added stress of
trying to figure out if he would be released from the Navy due to his injury,
how we would manage financially if (or when) he were, where we would live, and
how our marriage would survive it all. It was hell, and more so, it was hell on
my body. I gained weight, and developed PCOS, and for the first time in my
life, my health was at stake. I knew by 2010, after 4 years of battling with my
deteriorating health and devoting all my time and energy into my hubby’s issues
and work, that something needed to change fast, and it was that realization
that helped me turn both my health and my life with my hubby back in the right
direction. I decided to look into adapting to a vegan diet (a little extreme
for some, but for me was perfect since I already wasn’t big on dairy or meat,
and had been vegan in the past) and was determined to remind myself to take
time out to do the things that make me happy. I was lucky because none of my
health issues were advanced enough to cause further damage to my body, but some
of you out there may be in an entirely different boat, and therefore taking
action against prolonged stress is even more imperative and compulsory to your
overall health and well-being.
What I know about stress is this: you have to take
charge and make the decision to not allow your stress to drown you- and trust
me it can and will try. You have to know that regardless of your circumstances,
if you don’t take care of yourself, you will be no good to anyone else,
especially your wounded warrior. Taking care of yourself may be hard
considering all that you have going on, but it’s worth it. Read, get off your
feet and watch some T.V (even if it’s only for an hour or two) take a weekend
to yourself, start a journal, go on a long walk once a day, just do something
for yourself. I know that I plan to make 2013 my year of doing things for
myself on a weekly basis (maybe even writing about the places I go or the
things I do here!). It’s not selfish, it’s vital to your health, your family,
and your ability to let your body heal naturally. And trust me, your future self will thank you.
